My name is Alex. I was born in Tulare, CA. A small farm town with not much to do.I have 2 older sisters that lived with me along with both my parents. My dad would be gone for days some times weeks at a time because of his job. My mom worked too so my sisters usually took  care of me. But when my parents were there it seemed liked they weren’t because my dad drank and both my parents used drugs. I felt neglected and I blamed them for being sexually abused. When they never knew it was happening.  These resentment made me feel insecure unloved and not valued. forcing me to find that outside my home at 15 my parents addiction got the best of them and we became homeless. This turned me to gangs. I didn’t like violence but quickly learned the more reckless I behaved the more my gang showered me with a false love. I warped my beliefs to go along with theirs at the expense of becoming calloused. Making me not like the person I became. Lowering my self-esteem and feeling my life was worthless. I drowned my worried with alcohol and smoked my problems away with weed. This lead me to committing my crime. Trying to kill 2 people to be accepted by my gang. After coming to jail none of my homies came to see me. No one sent me money or even a letter. They only people that were there was my family. In fact the same people I gave my life to tried to stab me without my gang I didn’t have an identity. I was no one. I went to the extreme to run away from  being neglected and molested as a kid and to feel genuine love. When I really had it at home the whole time. I just didn’t know how to talk about my problems.